CLOSING THE DOOR ON TEMPTATION

"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins" (James 4:17).


How often have you heard the line, "He just couldn't say no!" or the feminine version of that, which is, "She knew better than that. That's not how she was raised!" What's the problem? Was it what the individual did, or the lack of discipline that brought confrontation with a situation which the person knew to be wrong?

Often I will sit down with a couple whose marriage is failing, and a spouse will turn in anger on his or her mate and hurl the words, "Why did you do that?" And the feeble response is often, "I don't know. I just couldn't help myself!"

What is needed is discipline --- or more specifically, self-discipline, the kind that has feet connected to a backbone which allows you to walk away from temptation, or the strength to hit the button on the TV controller, or click the mouse on your computer when you have strayed into areas which Paul called "secret and shameful" (2 Corinthians 4:2).

My experience working with people leads me to conclude that most people who find themselves in moral quicksand are not blind to what they are doing. True, they aren't thinking through the consequences, but they simply don't have the self-discipline necessary to do an about-face and close the door on temptation.

What are the consequences of self-indulgence as opposed to self-discipline? A broken home, shattered confidence --- a mate who no longer trusts you, your loss of self-respect, and perhaps God's hand of discipline.

Insight: You are free to make whatever decisions and choices you please, but you cannot control the consequences of those choices. For those who are God's children, not only does life yield harsh discipline, but God does, as well. "Hey," you may say, "I thought God was a loving God." He is. That's exactly why He disciplines His children.

The New Testament book of Hebrews says: "And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: 'My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son'" (Hebrews 12:5,6). "Better to be pruned to grow," said John Trapp, "than cut up to burn." It's still true.

Hitting the wall can be a good thing. Sometimes a swift "kick in the pants" is what you need to realize you need to change. God uses discipline to get your attention, to help you realize that continuing on the path you are on leads to disaster. Charles Spurgeon wrote, "I bear my willing witness that I owe more to the fire, and the hammer, and the file, than to anything else in the Lord's workshop" (Spurgeon as quoted by George Sweeting, Who Said That?, p. 163).


Changing your attitude is the first step. It's what the Bible calls repentance. It's the deep-seated emotion that makes you realize you have been playing with fire, and it's time to change, and fast.


The second step is changing your actions. It's important to realize that doing right brings with that decision God's help which you have lacked. No, God won't do it for you, but knowing that He's able to give you the resolve you lack, and His strength for your weakness, makes it much easier for you to do right--even when it is painful. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline," wrote Paul to Timothy (2 Timothy 1:7). Stop. Question: Who gives us power, love, and self-discipline? God does. Have you asked Him for this? Self-discipline not only closes the door on temptation, but also brings rich dividends spiritually.

Remember, you can choose to do whatever you like, but with every choice come consequences --- both negative and positive --- which you neither choose nor can avoid.



Resource reading: Hebrews 12:1-12




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WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO TEENS TODAY

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).

C. S. Lewis married late in life and never fathered a child; however, he lived in the world of academia as a professor. Lewis had a lot of wisdom, the old-fashioned kind that makes sense in a senseless world. He said simple things which are so profound that most people dismissed them. Like what? I often think of his insistence that you can't know what a crooked line is until you know what a straight one is.

In other words, without knowing the truth, you don't know what a lie is. Unless you know right from wrong, wrong may be just as appealing or even more so than that which is right.

So what does that have to do with our kids today? Since World War 2, many, if not most, adults have given token acknowledgement of God's existence but have really lived as though He didn't exist at all. But the next generation has bought into what we practiced, and without being convinced that God is there, that He has a will and purpose for our lives, that He also says, "Do this!" and "Don't do this" because He loves us too much to let us destroy ourselves, our kids--teenagers and even young adults--have little hope for the future.

What I have just described is part of the fabric and culture which surrounds a generation who is now the offspring of men and women who believed in God theoretically but lived as though there were no God.

What's important to kids today?

1. Feeling good about yourself. Drugs, alcohol, sex, any experience that makes you feel good gets included in this one. How kids feel about themselves is important--very important.

2. Acceptance and identity. They struggle with the question, "Who am I? Do my friends like me? Can I relate?" Like it or not, tattoos, body jewelry, clothing, hairstyles, and fads are all part.

3. The media. While kids want to be independent, they end up being quite homogenous when it comes to the music they listen to, the entertainment which they like, and the movies and CDs they see and listen to, over and over again.

4. Independent thinking. What's wrong with this? Rejecting moral absolutes, the reality of truth, and standards of society, the mentality of many kids today is that just about anything goes. "Who can know what truth really is?" they say. Seven out of ten kids admit to lying to their parents, says a new survey. Why not? Everybody does it, they contend.

5. Designer, whatever-I-want-to-believe, religion. That explains why George Harrison, the lead guitarist of the Beatles could say, "Everything else can wait but the search for God cannot wait," and rejecting Christianity, wandered through Eastern religions to Hare Krishna, a long way from where he started. Lewis was right. You have to know what a straight line is before you understand what a crooked one, is otherwise crooked lines look pretty straight.

The greatest tragedy today is not what our kids are doing, but what we as parents have failed to do. When they asked for bread, we gave them a stone. When they asked for light, we stumbled in darkness. When they wanted to know what a straight line is, we mumbled with uncertainty, not being able to walk one ourselves. For many it's too late to change, but for you who still have influence in the lives of your kids, better put some distance between your home and the culture which David John Seel, Jr. calls, "Deathwork logic." What the writer of Proverbs said 3,000 years ago is still true. "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

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Resource reading: Proverbs 18.

STEPS TO SELF DISCIPLINE

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10).

When he was a child, he was never disciplined. "Love is all a child needs," his mother had said, adding, "When he's older, he'll learn what he should do." In grade school, he fought with his classmates and talked back to his teacher. In high school he brought beer to school, which resulted in his being suspended. In college he was caught cheating on exams but no official action was taken.

He couldn't hold a job because he couldn't get himself out of bed in the morning. When he married, he couldn't say no to credit card debt or other women who were available. He failed in marriage, in business, and in life. Is there a common thread to a pattern of failures, some of which are in the lives of millions of people? There is--a lack of discipline. It is everybody's problem in an age of indolence, fast foods, quick fixes, and relationships without commitment or meaning.

A lot of people, perhaps yourself included, are not on the really dangerous edge of the problem, yet in their hearts they know they need more discipline--the kind that makes you eat healthier, get up when you need to, make sure your kids learn good habits, and stop spending money when it's gone. Sounds good, right? How do you develop personal discipline? The following guidelines can help you learn self-discipline.

Step #1: Take the little steps first. When that voice within says, "This one time won't matter!" you've got to take quick, decisive action. Eating three chocolates which weigh only ounces can put pounds on you in places that cause you to sit on the beach in a t-shirt instead of a swim suit. Instead of a rich dessert, opt for a piece of licorice. Punctuality is also a matter of discipline. When you are late, it's like saying, "All of you at this meeting are not as important as I am, so you can wait for me." Set two alarm clocks. Put one alarm across the room. Practicing discipline in the small things produces results in big things. It sets the pace for future gains.

Step #2: Be accountable to someone. That's the strength of small groups--whether it is Alcoholics Anonymous, Weight-Watchers, or a small prayer group you meet with once each week. That means you have to be willing to let someone look you in the eye and ask the tough questions. "Have you stayed on your diet this week? What did you read in your quiet time this morning? Were you on time every day this week?" Those are touch jabs but necessary ones.

Step #3: Understand that developing self-discipline is in accord with what God wants you to do. Insight: Goals which are in line with God's purpose for your life also bring God's strength and help for your weakness. To the Corinthians Paul wrote, "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10). This means you can find strength through prayer, and find hope that things can be better. The principle of Philippians 4:13 is valid. It quotes Paul saying, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (NKJV).

Step #4: When you fail, start again… and again… and again. If your first trip to the driving range doesn't allow you to compare favorably with Tiger Woods, take some lessons, and keep hitting the ball, but don't give up with a few hooks and slices.

One of our greatest needs in our personal lives today is the need for discipline. It can develop the key to success and can help you accomplish the will of God for your life.

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Resource reading:
Philippians 4.

A Christian's Journey With Christ

And the Lord Jesus Christ Said to the Christian Pilgrim:

Your heart is filled with pain,
Your mind cluttered with confusion.

Pieces of your life fall around you
Like raindrops in a storm.

The path you chose so long ago
Led you straight to hurts door.

Now your weary feet struggle
To find the road back home,
Searching for the places
That love and beauty hide.

Temptations lie in wait all around,
Pulling at your every step,
Waiting for you to slide back
From the chosen, sought for, path.

Emptiness surrounds you,
Confusing your perceptions.
It is difficult to carry on.

I will do my best to fill your heart with joy,
To clear the cobwebs of confusion,
Help you find your purpose.

I am good at catching pieces
And I can chase away a storm.

Let me walk your path beside you,
I have walked this road before.

You can lean on me when the weariness comes.
My shoulders are very strong.

I can not fight your battles,
Or chase away demons of the soul,
But I can lend you my strength
Until you find your own.

I will help you find the courage
To face each day anew.

I can not shorten the journey you must make,
The road is just as long as before.

But I can fill the emptiness
And help you reach your center,
The place where love and beauty hide.

Take my hand, be my friend,
Let me walk with you awhile.